Finally
by Silverstargirl
Summary: SquallxSeifer..started out as a one-shot but then I decided to give background to show how they got there. I hope you enjoy it. By the way I have edited a bit to make it hopefully easier to read.
1. Chapter 1

I couldn't help it. I wasn't totally happy with the story, so I went through and made some changes. Hope you don't mind. It's a little longer (he he...actually a lot) and I fixed a few errors. I am not quite sure where I am going yet with this story, seeing as it has decided to have a mind of its own. XD Squall might be a little OOC but I think anyone would be under the circumstances...right?

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**Finally – by Silverstargirl.**

Squall woke with a start; his heart pounding. He was curled on his side in the usual position wondering what the hell had woken him. He glanced at the digital readout on the clock. _'4 am,' _ he thought _'It's so damn early.' _That's when he noticed it...that odd crawly feeling one gets when one is being stared at. "Who's there?" he asked in a menacing tone while unobtrusively reaching for the gun hidden under his pillow.

"No one special." came a low familiar voice filled with amusement.

Squall's tense muscles relaxed for a brief moment then stiffened when his bed began to sink as the intruder sat on the edge of the bed. Feeling long fingers begin stroke his hair he sat up...smacking the hand away. He was feeling oddly torn between the feelings of comfort, anger, and...joy. "Where have you been?" he queried in a soft but demanding tone. _'I missed you.'_

"Around," came the uninformative reply. _'I missed you.'_

"How've ya been, Squally boy?" Seifer asked after a long silence. "Looks that ya haven't been eating again. You lost weight. Did ya miss me that much?"_ 'You need me around to take care of you.'_

"......Whatever." '_Yes...I don't know why but...without you...nothing...was right.'_ "I am fine." _'Please stay I need you here...with me' _Squall suddenly couldn't bear it anymore....he had to know. "Seifer...why did you go with her...really?" he winced at the tone of his voice. Hyne, he sounded so pathetic. Seifer said nothing for the longest time and Squall began to worry. "Seifer?"

"Sorry, I just don't know how to start. Its difficult to explain." Seifer said with an odd note in his voice.

"Just tell me...I...I need to know." _'Why did you leave...me?'_

"I wish I could say that I didn't have a choice, Squall. The cost of refusing her was far too high...but I did have a choice," Seifer said with a sigh.

"What do you mean?" Squall whispered.

"I wasn't the only one who had the ability to be a knight. Heh....I wasn't even the one she wanted....you were."

"What?"

"But I couldn't...wouldn't let her hurt you that way." Seifer said softly.

"Hurt me?"

"You know nothing about sorceresses...do ya? Well, I studied them extensively. I knew that being a knight carried certain...risks." He took a deep breath before continuing. "When you become a knight, you give the sorceress the keys to your mind. If you are lucky she is like Edea, who would never try to control you. But some...ones like Ultimecia...are dangerous to their knight. They want, hell need, complete control...body and soul. I could tell she was one of the bad ones. I tried to fight her as much as I could, but her will....it was too strong. In the end, I was glad that it was you that came after us. No one else had the ability to stop me while I was under her control."

"Why?"

"Because..." Seifer whispered. Squall finally turned and looked at the boy sitting next to him for the first time since he woke. The expression on Seifer's face stunned him. _'Seifer...why do you look so sad and...and scared?'_ he asked with his mind...willing Seifer to hear him...not daring to say it out loud...almost afraid to know the answer.

"Because you....you mean so much to me." _'I love you....always have...always will.'_

"I mean so much?"

"I....I..." Seifer paused. "Why can't I just say it?" Seifer mused out loud.

"Say what?" Squall pleaded...suddenly desperate. He then jumped when Seifer suddenly laughed derisively. Seifer turned to look him directly in the eyes. Squall hadn't seen that particular look in those beautiful turquoise eyes for so long. That look that he had never really understood...the one that had always made his stomach flutter. _'Please Seifer...please just tell me...I want...no need to know.'_

_'Hell and damnation just say it, dumb ass,'_ Seifer growled at himself. "I love you...okay....I fucking love you."

Squall felt tears gather in his eyes as his heart filled with...something...joyful...was this happiness? "I ...." he hesitated for the briefest moment then said, "I love you too"

Seifer froze and his eyes widened with disbelief. "You...love me?"

Squall gazed into the eyes of his beloved and nodded. He licked his lips, suddenly nervous, then slowly leaned forward. When he was close enough to feel minty breath on his face he closed his eyes and kissed him...kissed his Seifer...soft and sweet.

Seifer was stunned and just sat there for a long moment thinking, _'Hyne, Squall is kissing me.' _Then, _'What the hell are you doing, moron? Kiss him back!' _He wrapped his arms around around the younger boy and pulled him into his lap wanting their bodies to be as close as possible. He silently asked to deepen the kiss by running his tongue lightly over the other's full bottom lip.

Squall gave a soft moan as he accepted the other boy's questing tongue. He shifted positions, straddling Seifer's legs, gasping when he felt large hands slide down his back, finally settling on his ass, squeezing gently, pulling him even closer. He started to run his hands all over Seifer's powerful chest and back, stroking hungrily. He then slid his fingers into soft golden locks, knowing he was unwilling to ever let go again. _'Mine....you are mine and you will stay.'_

**Several hours later....**.

Seifer pulled back slightly and teasingly asked the smaller boy, "Does this mean I can come back to Garden?" Squall glared at him icily, stubbornly refusing to answer. Seifer shook his head, laughing at that familiar expression, then leaned down to steal another kiss. He was confident that he could keep his Squally happy. He knew without a doubt that he was the only one that could.

**Meanwhile.....**

Quistis was beyond worried. Squall hadn't arrived at his office yet and he was nearly two hours late. He was always prompt....hell, he was always ridiculously early. Something had to be wrong. She walked swiftly down the corridor to the Commander's quarters and paused to gather her nerves. She heard what sounded like soft laughter coming from inside the room and thought with shock, _'What?...is that...is that?...Hyne, if I didn't know better I would swear that sounds like Seifer's laugh?...Oh, don't be silly girl...'_

She knocked sharply on the door and called out, raising her voice slightly, "Squall, are you in there? It's not at all like you to be late. Is everything alright?" The door opened and Squall looked at her, then gave her a blindingly sweet smile, which caused her to blink at him owlishly.

Squall knew she had been worried about him for a long time and said, "I'm fine, Quistis." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry...I should have called to say I wouldn't be in. I didn't mean to worry you, but I was a little distracted. Seifer came home late last night and I wanted to be with him."

Quistis drew in a startled breath, then smiled, overcome with joy and relief. _'I am so glad,'_ she thought, then hastened to say, "There is absolutely nothing to apologize for. I understand. You are not to worry about anything at all today, Squall. I will handle everything. You stay here with Seifer." _'Where you belong.' _

Seifer had ambled over to the door while she spoke to Squall and said, "Hiya, Quisty, long time no see."

"Good to see you too, Seifer," she replied. _'More than you know. I missed you...we all did.' _"Welcome home."

"Its good to be back." Seifer glanced over at his love and murmured, "Squall, I am hungry. Let's go get something to eat." Squall nodded and took his hand. "We will see you and the rest of the gang later, okay? I know we all have a great deal to talk about, but I think it can wait until later. Don't ya think?" Seifer said with a smile. _'Sorry, I'm feeling kinda possessive and don't wanna share. Call me selfish.'_

Quistis nodded, smiling, then watched as they exited the room and headed down the corridor toward the cafeteria. Her smile widened and she couldn't hold back a giggle when Seifer suddenly pulled Squall snug against his side and slipped an arm around the younger boy's slim waist. Squall didn't pull away, simply accepting the gesture then reciprocating it. Quistis was unable to look away; her eyes locked on them until they were out of view. A part of her had been tempted to follow them, but she understood that they needed to be alone for awhile. She gave a happy sigh and headed down the corridor in the opposite direction, feeling light on her feet for the first time in what seemed like an eternity; a smile on her face that refused to fade. Seifer was home and she knew somehow that everything was going to be alright. _'Thank Hyne!' _She thought. _'We are all together again and Squall __can be happy....finally.'_


	2. Chapter 2

I have decided to add a little background into this story. Thanks for the idea and the review bonni3bunny. Also thanks to the others who have reviewed. Here is my first update. I hope you enjoy it.

Squall - Age 4

_He walked in field of ice and as he walked he grew more and more frozen. His skin began to turn a frosty blue. And he was alone....completely alone and that frightened him. Soon all he was was ice. No feelings, no sensations, just ice. He didn't wanna be all alone and made of ice._

Squall woke his face streaked with tears. He ran to his favorite spot next a pillar in the ruins his 'secret' place and sat with his knees pulled up to his chest crying quietly. "Sis, why'd yoo go way?" he whispered, brokenly "I'm all alone and the ice is gonna get me. I'm scared. Yoo p..pwomised to keep me w..warm and s..safe so the ice would stay away. Pwease come back, Elle. Don leave me alone."

Seifer - Age 5

'Uh oh...he's having that dream again,' thought Seifer, hearing Squall's muffled sobs. He didn't like to see Squall upset. He hated Matron for sending Elle away, 'cause Squally had been different since his sis left. He wouldn't talk and didn't wanna play anymore. Seifer missed his Squally.

He watched Squall run off into the dark and quietly got up and followed. He didn't bother trying to keep up. He knew where his friend was going. When he got there he heard what Squall whispered. He walked over to Squall and touched his hair softly. "Squally, yoo don't have to worry," he said, "see I am here an' yoo are not alone. I'll keep you warm and safe." He sat down as close to Squall as possible and hugged him close. "I pwomise I will never ever go away." He smiled when Squall laid his head on his shoulder and whispered, "I pwomise to be here for yoo too Seffy. We will protect each other."

The next day......

"Seifer, I need you to come with me," said Matron warmly. "There is a couple that wants to meet you."

Seifer froze and looked at Matron. He saw Squall's face get real scared and remembered what he had told him. "NO!," he shouted. "I won't go. I wanna stay here." He then decided to make a ruckus, 'cause couples didn't like bad boys. He would make sure Matron wouldn't find a family for him. Not ever. He had promised his Squally to stay with him forever.

"Seifer, what ever is wrong. Do you not want a family?" she said to him with a look of shock in her eyes. Seifer was a very active child but this was not like him.

"NO!! I don wanna a fambly, and I don wanna leave." Seifer screamed, running away. Squally quickly followed him. They went to the 'secret' spot and Seifer hugged Squall close to him. "Don worry Squally. I won leave ya. Not ever. I swear. I luv yoo. We will be each others fambly and we won ever be alone." Squall gazed at him with teary eyes and attempted a wobbly smile, a rarity for him and kissed Seifer on the cheek. "I luv yoo too." he said, hiccuping a little. Seifer grinned and ruffled his Squally's hair. "We'll be t'gether fo ever and ever. Yoo'll see."

Matron had followed them quietly and after seeing this finally understood why Seifer had acted out. She had already taken one person from Squall and that had been a mistake. She knew that now. Squall was such a sweet child but he had never seemed to really open up to anyone she introduced him to. Many couples had looked at him, but he was never chosen. He was a beautiful child and had such an even temperament, but he was extremely shy and tended to withdraw whenever he felt nervous. Couples usually took this reaction wrong, thinking he didn't like them, and missed how wonderful Squall was. She had hoped for so long that little Squall would find a good family. That he would warm to a couple fast enough for them to want to take him home, but Ellone and Seifer had been the only ones he seemed to warm to.

She knew that the children were to young to understand that she was forced to send Ellone into hiding. She wanted all her children to be safe. But Squall had withdrawn completely, even from Seifer, when she had sent Ellone away. She could not bear to see one of her children as unhappy as Squall had been. Thankfully it seemed that Seifer had gotten Squall to open up to him again.

She gave a resolute nod. 'I cannot separate them. I refuse to do that to Squall again.' she thought. 'I will have to find a family that will take both of them. It would be cruel to take them away from each other now.' She turned and headed back inside to give the couple the bad news. Reaching the room a smile suddenly flickered across her face as an idea came to her. 'I know what to do. I will introduce the couple to Zell instead. Yes. He would be a good match for the Dincht family. I am sure they will get on wonderfully. They did say they wanted an active child.' She laughed softly to herself and went to fetch her most hyperactive charge.


	3. Chapter 3

**Finally Ch. 3**

**_Squall age 10 to 11 – Seifer age 12_**

Squall walked along the beach and wondered where Seifer could be. _He was supposed to meet me here an hour ago. Its not like him to be late. _He decided that he had waited long enough and headed back up the cliff. When he reached the top, he saw a familiar blond head in the distance. He waved his hand and shouted, "Seifer....I'm over here." Seifer ran toward him quickly.

"Squall, I'm so sorry. Matron wanted to talk to me about something and...." he paused with a frown. _I..I don't wanna go_

"Seifer? Is something wrong?" Squall asked suddenly worried. _What...why's Seifer upset?_

"Not really.....its just...Matron wants me to go to this new school in Balamb. She called it a garden or something. Its supposed to be a really good school...for special kids. She wants me to gather all my belongings tonight," he looked down at the ground looking upset. "Squall....she told me that she is sending me there...tomorrow."_ I can't believe Matron wants me to go tomorrow.....has she forgotten what day that is? Or does she even care?_

"T-Tomorrow?....b-but....tomorrow is my...my birthday. How...w-why....w-would she send you then....," Squall stammered, crushed by this news. _On my birthday....she is sending away my best friend, the one I love, on my birthday of all days...._ "No...its not fair....I'm gonna go talk to Matron." Squall took off running toward the orphanage, determined to change her mind.

Squall burst through the front door of the main building and headed straight to Matron. "Matron? Is it true? Are you sending Seifer away tomorrow?"

"Yes, it is true." She said smiling in her gentle way, oblivious to what was about to happen.

"But...t-tomorrow is my birthday. How could you? Its not right." Squall said, half-wailing with panic.

"I am sorry, Squall. I didn't forget, but the day after tomorrow is the deadline for enrollment of new students. If he doesn't leave first thing in the morning, he will not make it. " _Why is he acting like this? I know they are close, but it isn't like he will be gone forever._

"I don't care. At least he'd be here with me..instead of me being all alone. Don't you even care how we feel? " Squall was practically screaming at her, tears of rage falling down his face, his hands clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned white. _Please Matron...can't you see I need him. Please you can't send him away from me._

Edea was shocked at his behavior. She had never seen him so enraged. He was usually incredibly even-tempered....almost too calm. But right now, she was almost....afraid of him."Squall...please calm down. It isn't forever. Next year you can join him. I promise." She said trying desperately to placate him. _Please.....please don't be so angry...you're scaring me!_

"Next year....you expect me to be without him....for a WHOLE YEAR??? Do you seriously expect that to be okay with me? That I'll be happy to hang around all by myself. That I'll...as you like to put it...forgive and forget. No way is that happening. You're just mean and I HATE YOU!!" Squall was shaking with rage....he wanted nothing more than to lash out at her...make her feel as much pain as he did. _If she sends him away I'lll be all alone again. I-I can't survive that...not again...a-and Seifer promised never to leave me....he promised. I...no we have to get away from this place...away from her. _

Edea took a tentative step toward Squall, which caused him to rear back, baring his teeth in a snarl. "Don't touch me. Don't you ever touch me again! I will never ever forgive you for this...NEVER!" Squall turned and ran out the door, nearly flattening Seifer who was standing right outside. l flung himself into Seifer's arms and pleaded, "Seifer, lets...lets just run away from here. Go someplace we can be together. Someplace where no one will ever be able to separate us." _Please...you can't go..you can never go away...you promised._

"Squall, I don't think a place like that exists. We're only kids. When we turn eighteen we can do anything we want but until then Matron is our guardian. We have no choice. I hate this too...I hate her for doing this to us. Its not right...or fair, but really where could we go? We have no money...and are too young to work. How would we survive? Think about it. I-I really wish we could, but...." Seifer said, his eyes filled with tears. _I told her....I told her this would be too much for him....and for me. This hurts....so bad. Why are you doing this Matron? Can't you see he needs me?_

"Why does she have to send you this year? Why can't she wait until I am old enough too?" Squall sobbed. _This...pain...no please...you can't go...you have to stay...oh gods...I...I feel like I'm dying inside...._

Edea felt her heart breaking at the scene. She knew they were only children and couldn't see the bigger picture. Seifer and Squall were both extremely intelligent. They needed a better school...one that could give them the education she was unable to. If she could send Squall this year she would but at this time only children age twelve to eighteen were accepted. Waiting to send Seifer for another year would only inhibit his growth. Besides, a year apart would allow both of them to make new friends. They were far too dependent on each other. _I know this is painful for them and that they might never forgive me, but I am doing this for their own good. They need to make other friends...this dependence they have for each other unhealthy. _She took a deep breath and said in a firm voice, "Squall, that is quite enough. I understand that you are upset, but Seifer is going regardless. This is an excellent opportunity for him and I will not allow you to ruin his chance. You will just have to be patient. I am sure Seifer will send you letters regularly and perhaps even be able to visit occasionally. Seifer, I have left a bag for you to put your belongings into. Go pack." _I think I'd better wake Seifer up early tomorrow and send him off before Squall awakens. If I don't, there will just be another scene and the boat will be missed. I cannot allow that to happen. Seifer must be on that boat._

"Fine," Seifer said sullenly, glaring at her with pure hatred. He stalked to his room. _You don't know Squall like I do....you think that time'll heal this...you're wrong...he'll never forgive you for this....and neither will I._

Squall began to follow him, needing to be near him for as long as he could, but Matron grabbed his arm and said, "No....you are to be confined to your room for the rest of the day and all night. I'll not tolerate the kind of behavior you just exhibited. I'll check on you later to see if you need to use the facilities and will bring your dinner to you after everyone else has eaten. You're not to leave your room for any reason unless I'm with you. Is this clear?" _He is never going to forgive me for this I know, but its for his own good. _

Squall looked at her with hurt and rage, unable to say anything, his shock was so complete. _She won't even let me...be with him for what little time we have left. She's....heartless. _Matron dragged him into his bedroom and made him sit on the bed. She calmly walk through the door and shut it. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the master key to the orphanage and locked him in. _She locked __me in? I guess she wants to make sure I don't run away or try to sleep with Seifer. _He had a sinking feeling in his gut that he wasn't even gonna to get to say goodbye. She wouldn't want to risk him convincing Seifer to run away, if only long enough for him to miss the enrollment deadline. _Which I'd planned on doing. She really doesn't care that we don't want this...does she? I hate her.....I will always hate her. _He curled up on the bed and sobbed into his pillow as despair overtook him. _S-seifer...I love you and I'll miss you so very much. Please don't forget me. _

When Edea checked on him a hours later, his supper in her hands, she found Squall laying on his bed, sound asleep. He had obviously cried himself to sleep. _My poor darling....I know that this is necessary, but I hate doing it. I hope that time will heal the anger and hate. I can't blame him for how he feels. I know it must be painful. _She sent a prayer of hope to Hyne that Squall and Seifer would find it in their hearts to forgive her someday. It would probably take a long time though. She had already been forced to endure Seifer's glares throughout dinner. His anger had effected everyones appetite. He had been so angry when she had told him they were leaving at first light. The look in his eyes when he realized that she did'nt intend to let him see Squall before they left had made her heart jump up into her throat. She gave a sad sigh. _I think I'll just let him sleep. _She knew that missing one meal would not hurt him, so she took the plate into the kitchen, wrapped it, and placed it into the refrigerator.

At dawn the next morning, Matron put Seifer's bag into the trunk of the car and went back inside to see if he was ready. "Seifer it is time to go."

"Can't I at least tell him goodbye, Matron?" Seifer asked, a tear running down his cheek _I wanna give him a hug and tell him it'll be alright....that I'll write every day. I wanna tell him I'll always love him. Please Matron....its his birthday...must you be so...so cruel?_

"No, I'm sorry you can't. There isn't enough time. Come now.....we have a long car trip ahead of us." She said firmly, clamping down hard on her guilt at the lies, trying desperately to keep her face impassive. She walked toward the car and motioned for him to get in.

_I'm sorry, Squally. I wanted to tell you, but she won't let me. Please forgive me. _Seifer looked up at the window to to Squall's room and felt his eyes begin to water when he saw Squall's tear streaked face, gazing longingly at him. He lifted up his hand, waving good bye and mouthed. "I'll miss you. I love you...always." Squall waved back and mouthed that he loved him too. Seifer gave him a watery smile, then climbed into the vehicle and buckled his seatbelt. Matron started the vehicle and drove him away from the orphanage. When they arrived at the dock, she led him to the boat.

"Eh? You are early," said the captain, who was standing on the dock next to the vessel.

"I wanted to make sure he would arrive in plenty of time, Captain. He is ready to go at any time. Leave as quickly as you can. I do not want him to be late." Edea said, then turned toward her charge. "Seifer, this is Captain Lawrence. He will escort you to Balamb port. When you get there someone will be holding a sign with your name on it. They will take you to the school. Please behave yourself on the trip." She held out her arms to him, hoping for a hug, wincing when he would not.

Seifer wasn't about to allow her to give him a hug, so he stepped out of her reach. He looked at the captain. "Is it alright if I go ahead and get on board, sir?" _Did she seriously think I'd hug her? I hate her for doing this to us._

"Go right ahead." the captain replied, confused by the boy's treatment of the woman who had raised him. Edeasmiled sadly and, taking one last look at the boy she had raised for the last eight years, walked back to the car and drove home, the orphanage. When she arrived, she climbed the stairs to Squall's room and unlocked the door. "You can come out now."

Squall turned and looked at her with icy disdain. He stood and without saying a word walked past her out of the room. After she and Seifer had left he had made a decision. He would never feel again. He would embrace the ice. Never again would he feel such pain. To be alone was better than to love someone and have them leave.

Edea was shocked. She had expected anger and hatred, but not this. It was like he'd shut down all of his emotions. _Sweet Hyne...what have I done? Did I destroy him in my quest to help him? _Squall was never the same after that day. All the joy and laughter he had shown when Seifer was with him was gone. He no longer play with any of the other kids. He just stayed by himself, never letting anyone close, and hardly said a word. Edea could only pray that he would change back to the wonderful child he'd been after he was sent to the school. _I hope...that Seifer can...bring him life again. Hyne only knows I have failed to._

TBC


End file.
